One Step Back, Two Steps Forward

     I have not be extremely consistent with my yoga. Okay, I'm not going to lie to you or myself because that won't get me anywhere in life. My yoga has been pretty much nonexistent  other than the first day/night. I am NOT giving up on it, however, because I do love it and aspire to be better at my commitment to it. The first day/night that I did it, I felt amazing. I felt de-stressed, relaxed, and had a clear mind for bed the first night, and ready and energized to face the day after doing my morning routine. Why I stopped and have not continued on with it? Who knows. It's all about trying to form good habits, which are harder than one would think. If at first you do not succeed, try and try again. This is what I will continue to do until I am where I want to be.

     I believe that my lack of commitment to my yoga falls hand in hand with my bedtime. I aspire to go to bed at 10PM, but have not reached this goal as of yet. I am still struggling with time management, but again, this is new territory for me so it is all in the matter of forming good habits. Maybe it is harder to form good habits when you are working on forming multiple ones at the same time? Who knows. Maybe as some of my other habits I am working on become second nature, then I will be able to focus more on others that I am currently struggling with. Maybe I have too many irons in the fire. But, I refuse to give up.

     My diet is getting easier to stick to. I've had a cheat meal here and there, but I never let myself over indulge and I get right back on track after my cheat meal. I never really allow myself to have a cheat beverage. I mainly drink water all of the time now. I sometimes have green tea, which is allowed by the 17 Day Diet, and occasionally a cup of coffee, black with Truvia, but other than that... it's good old fashioned H2O for me. My first 17 Day cycle is complete, and I will soon be able to move to cycle food, which allows for more food choices. After that 17 days, I will determine if I am at my desired weight. If not, I return to the first, more strict, 17 day cycle. So, we will see. I have a feeling I might have to return to the first cycle at least once, but that is okay. I am already well aware that I have been putting this weight on for the last  7 years and it will take awhile to come back off.

     I have made progress. Although I do not notice a difference, the scale says I am 8 pounds lighter. I will take it and run with it and continue on until I do see progress. The number difference is enough to make me excited and that much more determined to continue on. It is proof that all of my self discipline is worth it. I am on my way to a healthier lifestyle that will hopefully be free of the risk of diabetes and high blood pressure that runs in my family. My current situation reminds me of a quote that I found online, and which I have recently posted on my Facebook profile: "Just because you don't see results after a day or even a week, don't give up. You may not see changes, but every smart choice you make is affecting you in ways you'd never imagine."  I am climbing the mountain toward a higher self-esteem and a new level of self-appreciation. I have had multiple people tell me that I should not stress about how I look or my weight because I am just fine, but I really am not just fine. If I cannot love myself, how am I able to fully love other people in the world? If I and full of negative thoughts about myself, how can I possibly have a positive outlook on life and the things in it? This is a personal journey that is necessary for my own personal growth, no matter what others think and feel about me and my situation.

Seeking Balance, Organization, and Freedom from Stress

This will be a short blog because it is past my bedtime.

     I have been doing a lot of thinking and soul searching, which I believe needs to be done before jumping into things. I have been slow going on a lot of my aspects of life right now, but in this case, I believe that slow and steady wins the race. I hope that the people who are helping me to succeed do not get too frustrated or irritated with my slow pace, but I really do feel inside that if I move slowly, I can get all of my thoughts and ideas in order and all of the wrinkles ironed.

     To have an orderly life, one must have organized and thought out plans. I am struggling with organizing my plans and my time. I am working on it. It takes three times to form a bad habit and twenty-one times to break it (and start a good habit in its place). I am definitely feeling the pain of this in many areas. I have seen success, however, even if they are baby steps. At least they are steps in the right direction.

     I have been thinking, and dreaming, about what can help me organize my thoughts, my feelings, and just get my head cleared out and in order. I have been experiencing an internal pull toward starting yoga and running. I am looking into the spiritual yoga because I believe that the meditation can help me with both my internal and external balances. I have also been reading that yoga helps naturally reduce cortisol levels, as well as help get you into shape, on which I am also working. I have been feeling an internal pull toward running as well; so much so that I have had a few dreams about running. This is very unusual for me because I hate running, at least I used to. Maybe my body and mind is trying to tell me something. Maybe my taste for running has changed just as people's taste buds change. In my dreams, I am never running away or toward anything. I am simply running outdoors, on a beautiful mid Spring day. I feel free and at peace. My mind is clear and I feel happier than ever. If this is not a smack in the face with a sign, then I don't know what is.

My short blog has become a medium one instead. Goodnight.

Signs of Progress

     I started today off with some great accomplishments that I would like to “crow” about (my Mary Kay unit uses “crowing” in lieu of “bragging” when we have awesome and exciting successes to share with the group).

     First, before I crow, I will backtrack to last evening. I got a few things accomplished around the house, which is on my ever-growing list of things to improve. Then, like I stated in my last Blog, I have major time management issues that cause major malfunctions in my day to day lack-of-routine. BUT, hopefully this won’t happen as often anymore because I spent the evening with iCal working out a schedule! I mapped out all of my work times for both jobs, my bed/wake up times, Mary Kay times, workout times, house cleaning times, me times; everything! All I have to do is add school to it when I finally get into St. Mary’s (more on this subject to come).

     Anyway, back to crow time. I have a new regular wake-up time of…*drum roll* 5AM! I am not a morning person so this is a feat in itself. I am happy to announce, that even though I stayed up to about 11:30 (an hour and a half past my bedtime), I woke up at 5:04! I gave myself one chance to hit the snooze button, and I got myself up before the snooze alarm went off.  (Let me just say that I am even more grateful that we purchased a Keurig on Black Friday. Having a fresh, hot, steaming cup of coffee in 1 minute is glorious!)  Getting up earlier will give me more time in the morning to prepare for the day and to get in a quick 30-minute workout (I hope). If it does not all work out, I will have to have a talk with myself and get up earlier so I can get my workout in.  Yay Progress!

     One crucial factor I have decided to add to my time management system is to start preparing my meals for the entire week on Sunday. This means that I will grocery shop after getting off of my 2^nd job on Saturdays. I will make it all and get it boxed up so throughout the week I can just grab it and go. This will help me better utilize my time in the mornings and give me more time for… Exercise! I will also start planning my next week’s meal schedule so I already have a list of groceries ready when I get to store on Saturday. Another time saving method I am going to start is planning out my clothes for the week ahead of time on Sundays, so I am not running around trying to decide what I am going to wear or where all of the pieces are in the mornings. So, to sum it up, Sundays are officially prep days. 

A New Beginning

I recently decided to create a Blog to serve as a therapy of sorts for me on my journey toward becoming a better person in life. I am in the beginnings of making huge life changes in my health, outlook on life, and attitude about myself and life (less negativity, more positivity), just to name a few. In creating this Blog, I am in no way trying to be narcissistic. I do not assume that anyone/everyone cares to see my constant thoughts. This is more for myself; a sort of journal to help me type things out when I am struggling, and to relieve my husband from my incessant ramblings about what I am constantly feeling or thinking. Since I am trying to overcome many obstacles, and all at once, I am hoping that this will lift some of the overwhelming pressure I have been feeling of late (Not from anyone, just pressure in general brought on from trying to wrap my head around everything).

So, without further adieu, welcome to Pathway to Metamorphosis, my Blog.

My first goal is to create a time management schedule so that I can stop feeling as if I am constantly running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I think I once heard that if you cannot organize your brain, then there is no way you can live an organized life. Who knows, maybe I made it up, but nonetheless, I know it is true because I am experiencing that very thing as I type. I have lost so much time these past few days/weeks/months worrying about how to find the time to accomplish all that needs accomplishing. Wish me luck because here it goes. One step closer to a new and improved me!